FAQs of Life

Don't be fooled by the title. I am not presenting a self-help guide to the art of living. On the contrary, it is a ventsheet (I should not crib if Oxford people sue me for using non-existent terms).

Have you ever noticed how certain questions are posed to us so often, we might as well publish and distribute answer pamphlets. In fact, I have made a list of my favorite 'most-hated FAQs'. (Don't tell me you don't have yours.)

The one that tops the charts, however, straight away is 'so, when are you getting married'. Anyone who has celebrated the silver jubilee of their existence will testify. Anybody asks it. Everybody asks it. Some country our's is -- even people you meet for the first time -- in train/bus/airports would not think twice before dropping the bomb on you.

This question really bugs the Jeezuz (also, Allah, Krishna and all other Gods, since I respect all religions equally) out of me. My most obvious response to this FAQ is -- to whom? My Luggage Bag? (In past ten years it has been my most faithful companion. The most constant one too. Whoever said change was the only constant, HUH!)

My second most obvious response and FGA (frequently given answer) is -- why don't you suggest some options. This is often followed by a sheepish 'you must be having someone' by the questioner. (Sorry Oxfordians!) To which, the questionee (fine sue me), me in this case responds with a helpless shrug. (Silence is Golden is an understatement of all times -- it's Platinum, it's brilliant, it works.)

Finally, the questioner gives a last 'you are hopeless' glance and that is the end of the FAQ session.

What leaves me astounded is the obvious authority with which people present such questions. Recently, I was venting out my distaste towards FAQs to a close friend, when she further enlightened me. "You think, being married it is any more easy for me? Complete strangers ask me when am I planning babies."

WHOAA!!! People actually ask THAT???

Aren't these supposed to be VERY VERY personal questions? Since not many people believe so, I have (shamelessly) prepared a list of crazy FAQs along with (even more shameless) answers.

At Age 5-10

FAQ: What will you become when you grow up?
FGA: Anything but a nosy FAQer like you. Now may I resume my game please?

At Age 12-17

FAQ: It is your BOARD YEAR. Nervous?
FGA: I won't be if YOU would be kind enough to not remind me of it.

At age 16-23

FAQ: Got any BFs/GFs
FGA: Yes, and you, my dear total stranger, are the first person I wanna share it with.

Age 25 onwards:

FAQ: So, when are you getting married?
FGA: Why don't you suggest the date/To whom, my luggage bag?

FAQ: When are you having babies?
FGA: Whenever you are ready.

Dear Readers,

Please suggest if you have got any better responses, considering that such FAQs come from people you barely know.

R.S.V.P.

Mriganka